Turn Signal

I was feeling like the Pavlovian test animal. My turn signal went on and activated my automatic pilot feature. You know the one I mean: the ingrained habit that massages your sense of well-being while suctioning off your wallet's contents. Some may call this activity addiction. I am leaning that way and unable to support the less severe theories; and I turned the steering wheel to the right to turn into the gas station.

I could almost smell the aroma of that coffee brewing. Caution be blasted; the flesh was going to win this one and I was led to the brewing delight like a lamb to the slaughter. Coffee! Bliss and stimulant fix combined with a socially acceptable habit. "Everyone is doing it" snuck into my thought patterns and patted my ego on the back. Was I stuck back in high school or something? Peer pressure had snapped it's claws into my will's backside and was hanging on for dear life.

Yes, I knew that the caffeine overload was not going to be good for either my calcium levels or my waistline(I like sugar and light cream when I can get it). I was a junkie and I was okay with that; rationalizing my habit as a necessary rendezvous with an old friend. College hooked us up years ago; and we just got along so well that we stayed together.

A twinge of regret surged into my consciousness; poking a hole in my drug-induced reverie. That first sip was the best; regardless of whether or not my tongue burned itself on the hot brew. Feed the flesh and gain a dress size, I know. I pray that tomorrow will lead me off of the road that goes down the garden path...


All things are possible with God, right? Right. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I will be strong and take courage. God will come to my aid and rescue me from my slavery.

I am full of myself at this point and indulge each successive sip with more joy and joie de vive than is humanly prudent. Tomorrow never comes and I will be doing the same thing tomorrow morning. Maybe then I will buy a smaller cup of my cup of joe and be on the road to recovery.

One day at a time. One day at a time.