Cloud Cover

It is dark;
yet I hear crickets...
and birds...
moving tires...
and honking horns...
There is life and activity
somewhere ahead.
I breathe in
and I breathe out.
Words and images float
and land vicariously into my mind;
carrying in with them fresh wind,
fragrant fruit and flowers,
...and the scent of print...
joy springs up out of the corner
to suprise and refresh;
arriving and ushering me into
the courts of the pleasant...

Stars in the Headlights Part 3

"I'm just finishing up the paperwork!" she yelled through the bathroom door. Ella was trying not to imagine what the two were up to on the other side of the world. As long as it didn't involve fire or a trip to the emergency room it was all good. It was Monday morning again. That day of the week that was faithful to come; and stayed past the welcome period. It was a day that the Lord had made for His glory; but down here on earth it often brought a level of stress with it.

Nathan was ready for school. His sister was doing her thing: eating. It was a fresh day with few mistakes in it. One day at a time was all she could handle. The thoughts of the days ahead and the challenges therein swirled around in her head. Mercy enabled her to jump back into the present and hang on to the moment. Just for this day, she could make it from point a to point b.

She took refuge in making plans for the future. The best case scenario was at least a few years away from fruition. Still, the mental meanderings fueled a level of hope that came and went as the passing of the clouds. God would have to make a way for her to make something happen. Were her ideas seeds for future growth? How much of her planning was truly inspiration or padding for her bruised ego? Of course, whatever God wanted was the best plan of all. The question was insistent on resurfacing: "What would Jesus have me do?"

Her reverie was punctured as soon as she saw the state of the kitchen. Fire #2 was on the kitchen counter perusing the cupboards for some more breakfast. She couldn't possibly still be hungry; it would have been physically impossible. A flash prayer rose up to heaven from her lips as she sped towards the corner of the room where the preschool terror was on the loose. "Lord, sustain me!"

Ready

I am armed and dangerous;
dangerous to the shadows,
a threat to the drain of the discouraging voice...
I'm "getting my praise on" and warming up the rockets;
ready to break through the walls,
stand up on the rooftops,
sing in invitation to the presence of the Lord
as my feet melt off traces of clay
onto the path;
onto the choices that I am compelled to make.
Praying that the fiesty streak
bubbling up within my spirit is indeed from His hand;
I arm myself for battle;
and rest in the confidence I have in Jesus.

Quiet Trust

In quietness and trust,
my soul shall rely;
knowing past conscious reason
the source of my strength...
That still, small voice
arriving after the storm winds;
providing support beams to the earthen hut
carried around on feet of clay...
In quietness and trust,
I reach past the often cold comfort of reason's grasp;
holding onto each moment...
...wide-eyed in anticipation of the divine circumstance
that will make every valley smooth
...and every mountaintop perch enduring...
His quiet rest sets the trusses upon solid ground;
fortifying my being
and sustaining the flame entrusted to mortal flesh.

Stars in the Headlights (continued)

The gift and the apparent difficulty of raising children(God had seen fit to bless them with a boy and a girl)revealed more of who she was than she was presently comfortable with. Marriage itself drew out so much of the dross; kids simply magnified the issues already present. At one point, he had questioned whether she had been having an affair. Right...one man at a time was enough for any woman if she was in her right mind. In reality, keeping one required a combination of resignation and sheer insanity. Women never learn, mostly because they know at their core that a ring could bring to them a richness to the fiber of their days; a gift of God with many disguises.
Her habit of squirreling away pens and paper puzzled and sometimes frustrated her husband. The kids took advantage of a clean wall and decided to get creative more than a few times. It probably bordered on an obsessive-compulsive thing, but there had to be a prize behind door #3. She figured that there must be a purpose behind such an obsession. Domestic life pulled her away from the world of words and imagination; propelling her towards a measure of conflict self-inflicted. The dishes in the sink looked appropriate when she was able to rationalize the neglect of the domestic duty.
The road ahead was closing in on the house they all shared. The evidence of "yard apes" as Nathan liked to call the children, was all over the yard. That fulfilling reminder of joy's promise was a comforting sight. The clutter was actually beautiful; even though it would have to be picked up in daylight. In the back seat, all was quiet; they had to be asleep.

Stars in the Headlights

Note: This is going to be a short story in installments. Alexander inspired me, Phil:).

It was amazing how different the oncoming headlights looked through tears. They elongated themselves into spikes reaching towards the sky and down towards the depths of the earth. It made her forget how her eyes were burning; aflame with that salty water that comes out of the soul when it is injured. Light was not just light; it was a reflection, a mirror, a window, and a beacon. The light led her to think of Jesus; and the prayers arose from her lips for His mercy to wash over her.
The old tape player put out a song that was sung on her wedding day many years ago. She took him for better or for worse. It had been a mixed bag of both over the time that they had been married. The fall in the garden had taken its' toll on everything. Marriage was definitely one of those entities. Ella came back to the baseline truth that kept her with him: she still loved the guy. The song brought back so many images of daily life and the thundering hooves of children's feet. Anyone who referred to them as "pitter-patter" had not been blessed with children of their own.

SATURDAY

O God , Creator of heaven and earth: Grant that, as the crucified body of our dear Son was laid in the tomb and rested on this holy Sabbath, so we may await with him the coming of the third day, rise with him to newness of life; who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
From The Book of Common Prayer